Waiting in lost

I bought two books - "The Hedonism Hanbook" and a journey "In Tuscany". A friend asked, "These books look relaxing, it means you need to release a lot of pressures?" Isn't it true...I'm trying to bury the misery in deep of the heart, which might be a better way to move on more easily. Although I always feel reluctant to move on alone, it looks the best choice for the moment. But in the deepest thinking, I am always waiting for him to join my life journey...

The coming last week of work will be mixed with a lot of feelings for sure. I'm waiting in lost.